ok so here i am writing another blog.
i'm kinda exhausted
from my expeditions
into the World of HappyNormal People,
so ima take a break from Reality.
So here i sit in my Special Person Room
tryna figger out why They don't want me
to have Super Powers or Voices or anything CrazyFun.
They think they're making progress;
i got them fooled!!
They think they're the reason i've had a decrease in Super Powers!
When really, i've just been occupied
with all my Jobs and Exploits,
so i've been too amused to need Super Powers
to keep from being bored.
Sooooo, They haven't been Monitoring me as much,
so now i have more time for Random Exploits!
So after i decided to take a short break
from observing HappyNormal people,
i got a Random Exploit Idea:
i could spy on The Men in the White Coats!!
this is quite an adventure,
usually they're the ones spying on ME
with all their cameras and microphones! ha!
i got rid of the Cellphone They gave me!!
NOW they can't listen to me!
did you know They can remotely turn on
your Cellphone's microphone?
they only way to keep Them from doing it
is to take the battery out.
So i started taking everything out of the Cellphone,
but i couldn't decide how much i needed to take out,
so i just exploded it.
But They didn't realize why i got rid of my Cellphone,
i think they thought it was for some other reason.
Then again, i didn't really like the Cellphone anyway.
all of the Voices i called on it were mean Voices.
I like my own Voices better.
the ones on the Cellphone are weird,
and they don't understand me.
So...now that i'm the one Watching
The Men in The White Coats
i been finding out some Interesting stuffs,
like when the next Happy Time is.
So now i can plan
when to have the Happy Time Vaccine on hand -->
cuz you can't have it with you all the time,
or They'll find out about it.
So now i'll know when to have it ready.
Anyway, and also i find out other stuffs,
like Codes to Restricted Doors!!
They never expected me to figger out
how to get past those!!
Now i'm gonna be in all kinds of places
i'm not supposed to be!!
-atomicobra
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
22: Answering Questions Like a 5th Grader
so since i've been
*observing*
HappyNormal people,
i've noticed things they do
to supposedly keep "amused"
and i wonder,
how can they be amused by TV?!!
it's just a box.
sometimes it has something Intriguing,
but how can they spend most the day in front of it??
I'd rather open up the box and find something to blow up
than just look at it all day.
so anyway,
i heard Them talking about something on the TV
called "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader"
but from what i heard,
i don't think it answers the question at all.
cuz Fifth Grade Questions don't show whether you're smart,
they're made for Fifth Graders
to just repeat what they where told recently,
based on very limited generalizations.
it's quite Brainless.
Example:
"Which of these does NOT belong?"
and it has simple pictures of
a Horse
a Car
and a House.
now...you may say, "the Horse,
because it's Alive."
or, "the House,
because it doesn't move."
but then the "correct" answer
is the Car, because it has wheels.
Or, if the pictures are colored,
that is what determines the answer.
It doesn't matter which is which,
but one is Red, or Blue, or Green.
Since Triangles are Red,
Circles are Blue,
and Rectangles are Green,
the answer is "whichever one is Blue,
because circles don't have corners"
Now, That, is a better way to get an answer,
but it's still assuming something:
that the question refers to the pictures.
The Real Answer is "NOT,"
because it's all capitals.
-atomicobra
*observing*
HappyNormal people,
i've noticed things they do
to supposedly keep "amused"
and i wonder,
how can they be amused by TV?!!
it's just a box.
sometimes it has something Intriguing,
but how can they spend most the day in front of it??
I'd rather open up the box and find something to blow up
than just look at it all day.
so anyway,
i heard Them talking about something on the TV
called "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader"
but from what i heard,
i don't think it answers the question at all.
cuz Fifth Grade Questions don't show whether you're smart,
they're made for Fifth Graders
to just repeat what they where told recently,
based on very limited generalizations.
it's quite Brainless.
Example:
"Which of these does NOT belong?"
and it has simple pictures of
a Horse
a Car
and a House.
now...you may say, "the Horse,
because it's Alive."
or, "the House,
because it doesn't move."
but then the "correct" answer
is the Car, because it has wheels.
Or, if the pictures are colored,
that is what determines the answer.
It doesn't matter which is which,
but one is Red, or Blue, or Green.
Since Triangles are Red,
Circles are Blue,
and Rectangles are Green,
the answer is "whichever one is Blue,
because circles don't have corners"
Now, That, is a better way to get an answer,
but it's still assuming something:
that the question refers to the pictures.
The Real Answer is "NOT,"
because it's all capitals.
-atomicobra
Sunday, September 21, 2008
twenny1: Watching HappyNormal ppl Talk
so i've been people watching,
and i've come to an conclusion:
HappyNormal People are weird.
And sometimes confusing.
Like, yesterday i noticed something odd.
but before i say what i noticed
maybe i'll explain the Basics.
oh! and i'll say the odd things i noticed
when i explain the step they're associated with.
(yay) that works.
These following steps are involved in Communicating
#1: Greeting -- They say something and acknowledge
the other's existance.
Examples: "hi, how are you?"
"Hi!! omigoshhowARRyou?"
"My maan!"
"Yooo."
"hey ____"
-I think the word following "hey"
refers to the other person.
sometimes it varies, like "John" or "Trish,"
but lots of the time it's something generic,
like "dude," "man," "buddie," or "whatsup."
Odd Note: this is usually done while looking at each other and after making eye contact
#2: Touch -- Often, they touch each other in some way,
usually emphasizing grabbing hands.
Examples: grabbing hands, then shaking up and down
slapping hands
punching hands
grabbing hands, then bumping chests, and patting back
wrapping arms around the other person
nodding heads; sometimes down, but sometimes up and tilted
-sometimes instead of just grabbing hands,
something weird is done with the fingers or something,
like snapping, or grabbing differently, or rubbing, or scratching, or twiddling
Odd Note: oh, occasionally they bump faces.
#3: Generic Phrases -- this shows the other person
that the speaker cares about them,
while actually in their mind they may not.
Examples: "how's the family?" (sometimes more specific)
"it's been like so long" (or other references to passage of time)
"how's it been at [some job or activity]"
-basically, anything boring about something that isn't present.
Sometimes, tho, it's about something
that you can actually see!
Example: "That sweater is soo cute" (or other comments
about the appearance of the other person)
these may be my favorite,
except when they're about the weather.
like, "the weather's soo unpredictable" (followed by a dissussion about it)
or, when someone can't think of anything worth saying,
they just say "the weather's nice."
#5: Business (optional) -- the real reason
they decided to talk, if any.
it's usually brought up
by the first person to perform the Greeting.
Examples: "hey i was wondering if you knew _____"
"so did you [do] _____"
"so ____"
hey, _____"
Odd Note: i noticed a very weird trend:
seems like, Questions that HappyNormal people ask
actually have specific answers that someone may or may not know!!
why don't they just let The Voices make up the Answers??
The Voices always make up answers for my questions.
OK, i'm done for today.
the Monkey sez Go Awaay and stop reading,
cuz there isn't anything else to READ.
until my next post.
but this one is DONE.
aauuuuuggh! the Leprechaun and PumpkinHead
are screaming that i need to MOVE and DO something
cuz this blog is TYPING and BORING to the Leprechaun
(who doesn't Like you anyway)
aannnd the PumkinHead, who does Like you,
but wants to go do something else now anyway.
The Monkey sez Stop.
-atomicobra
and i've come to an conclusion:
HappyNormal People are weird.
And sometimes confusing.
Like, yesterday i noticed something odd.
but before i say what i noticed
maybe i'll explain the Basics.
oh! and i'll say the odd things i noticed
when i explain the step they're associated with.
(yay) that works.
These following steps are involved in Communicating
#1: Greeting -- They say something and acknowledge
the other's existance.
Examples: "hi, how are you?"
"Hi!! omigoshhowARRyou?"
"My maan!"
"Yooo."
"hey ____"
-I think the word following "hey"
refers to the other person.
sometimes it varies, like "John" or "Trish,"
but lots of the time it's something generic,
like "dude," "man," "buddie," or "whatsup."
Odd Note: this is usually done while looking at each other and after making eye contact
#2: Touch -- Often, they touch each other in some way,
usually emphasizing grabbing hands.
Examples: grabbing hands, then shaking up and down
slapping hands
punching hands
grabbing hands, then bumping chests, and patting back
wrapping arms around the other person
nodding heads; sometimes down, but sometimes up and tilted
-sometimes instead of just grabbing hands,
something weird is done with the fingers or something,
like snapping, or grabbing differently, or rubbing, or scratching, or twiddling
Odd Note: oh, occasionally they bump faces.
#3: Generic Phrases -- this shows the other person
that the speaker cares about them,
while actually in their mind they may not.
Examples: "how's the family?" (sometimes more specific)
"it's been like so long" (or other references to passage of time)
"how's it been at [some job or activity]"
-basically, anything boring about something that isn't present.
Sometimes, tho, it's about something
that you can actually see!
Example: "That sweater is soo cute" (or other comments
about the appearance of the other person)
these may be my favorite,
except when they're about the weather.
like, "the weather's soo unpredictable" (followed by a dissussion about it)
or, when someone can't think of anything worth saying,
they just say "the weather's nice."
#5: Business (optional) -- the real reason
they decided to talk, if any.
it's usually brought up
by the first person to perform the Greeting.
Examples: "hey i was wondering if you knew _____"
"so did you [do] _____"
"so ____"
hey, _____"
Odd Note: i noticed a very weird trend:
seems like, Questions that HappyNormal people ask
actually have specific answers that someone may or may not know!!
why don't they just let The Voices make up the Answers??
The Voices always make up answers for my questions.
OK, i'm done for today.
the Monkey sez Go Awaay and stop reading,
cuz there isn't anything else to READ.
until my next post.
but this one is DONE.
aauuuuuggh! the Leprechaun and PumpkinHead
are screaming that i need to MOVE and DO something
cuz this blog is TYPING and BORING to the Leprechaun
(who doesn't Like you anyway)
aannnd the PumkinHead, who does Like you,
but wants to go do something else now anyway.
The Monkey sez Stop.
-atomicobra
Sunday, August 31, 2008
20: Yesterday's Tomorrow's Today
Yesterday is Tomorrows' Today.
wait...how?
becaaaause...
i made a Time Machine yesterday.
and time travel is only possible
as far back into the past
as the First Time Machine.
So, i saw myself yesterday.
Myself told me something.
Myself told me i made a Blog today.
so i sed,
"How can Myself have made a blog during Tomorrow?
"If Myself made it Tomorrow, why is Myself here?
"Today is Yesterday for Myself."
Then Myself told me,
"Yesterday is Tomorrow's Today now!"
so i goes like,
"i thought Today was Tomorrows Yesterday...
so Today's your Today now?"
then Myslef sez,
"No, Yesterday is"
I sez,
"your Yesterday is Today Today,
"it is now!"
...so after we got THAT figgered out,
i axed Myself how Tomorrow was.
Myself sed,
"Tomorrow was Good."
-atomicobra
wait...how?
becaaaause...
i made a Time Machine yesterday.
and time travel is only possible
as far back into the past
as the First Time Machine.
So, i saw myself yesterday.
Myself told me something.
Myself told me i made a Blog today.
so i sed,
"How can Myself have made a blog during Tomorrow?
"If Myself made it Tomorrow, why is Myself here?
"Today is Yesterday for Myself."
Then Myself told me,
"Yesterday is Tomorrow's Today now!"
so i goes like,
"i thought Today was Tomorrows Yesterday...
so Today's your Today now?"
then Myslef sez,
"No, Yesterday is"
I sez,
"your Yesterday is Today Today,
"it is now!"
...so after we got THAT figgered out,
i axed Myself how Tomorrow was.
Myself sed,
"Tomorrow was Good."
-atomicobra
Monday, August 25, 2008
nineteeen: Some of The Voices' Names
ok i'm back in my world.
i went away to visit Reality for awhile,
but it's not Fun.
So i've been calling for the Voices to come back
and they came, yay,
so now i gots a way to keep amused,
cuz the Voices tell me alll kinds of interesting stuffs.
Sometimes too they give me Ideas,
and that keeps me busy when i'm bored.
Like i am right now.
Ice Iggy is one of The Voices.
He mostly just screams.
And of course, there's The Lil Munsters!!
They sing "lah wa wa wah wa wa waaaaaaah!!"
"i am a munster! huh hyuaah!"
The Pumpkin-Head is another one of The Voices.
He's amused when noone else is.
Let's see...oh yeah, and Handguy.
He's a Simplehead.
And there's Skully.
He's CrazyHyper.
And also there's The Snakes
There are several of them.
Annnd of course there's The Leprecon.
He likes fire.
And um, there's CinemaBrain.
He just sez all kinds of movie quotes.
"I like this job!"
And, MyMusic.
I'm not sure if MyMusic is a voice,
but it's always goin even if there's no Radio.
I think maybe the Radio doesn't make any Noize,
it only tells MyMusic what to sing.
i don't really know...
And then there's lotsa random other ones.
Sometimes they have Special Names and sometimes the don't.
THE MONKEY ISN'T ONE OF THE VOICES!!!
The Monky sez that's enuf!!
This Blog is Done
-atomicobra
i went away to visit Reality for awhile,
but it's not Fun.
So i've been calling for the Voices to come back
and they came, yay,
so now i gots a way to keep amused,
cuz the Voices tell me alll kinds of interesting stuffs.
Sometimes too they give me Ideas,
and that keeps me busy when i'm bored.
Like i am right now.
Ice Iggy is one of The Voices.
He mostly just screams.
And of course, there's The Lil Munsters!!
They sing "lah wa wa wah wa wa waaaaaaah!!"
"i am a munster! huh hyuaah!"
The Pumpkin-Head is another one of The Voices.
He's amused when noone else is.
Let's see...oh yeah, and Handguy.
He's a Simplehead.
And there's Skully.
He's CrazyHyper.
And also there's The Snakes
There are several of them.
Annnd of course there's The Leprecon.
He likes fire.
And um, there's CinemaBrain.
He just sez all kinds of movie quotes.
"I like this job!"
And, MyMusic.
I'm not sure if MyMusic is a voice,
but it's always goin even if there's no Radio.
I think maybe the Radio doesn't make any Noize,
it only tells MyMusic what to sing.
i don't really know...
And then there's lotsa random other ones.
Sometimes they have Special Names and sometimes the don't.
THE MONKEY ISN'T ONE OF THE VOICES!!!
The Monky sez that's enuf!!
This Blog is Done
-atomicobra
Friday, August 8, 2008
18: Pretending to be HappyNormal
So because The Men in the White Coats
don't like me to have Super Powers or The Voices,
i decided to try out something new i figured out
with the Happy Time Vaccine.
I been experimenting again, and i figgered out a Way
to not only stop Happy Time,
bbut also make it look like i didin't!!!
So even tho i look Happy Timed, i can still get Ideas!
So i gots a new IdeaPlan:
i'll pretend i'm HappyNormal,
and then Respectably Normal People will like me,
so then i can manipulate them to do what The Voices want!!
i haven't figgered out how to go about this of course,
cuz even tho i can look calm and Normal,
i still need to know how to act Normal.
Soooooooo, i gots a new Hobby:
People Watching!!!
This is a very exciting activity.
You watch Normal People,
then when you know enuf,
you can pretend to be one!
I'ma report back on my endeavors;
I can't wait to get started!!
-atomicobra
don't like me to have Super Powers or The Voices,
i decided to try out something new i figured out
with the Happy Time Vaccine.
I been experimenting again, and i figgered out a Way
to not only stop Happy Time,
bbut also make it look like i didin't!!!
So even tho i look Happy Timed, i can still get Ideas!
So i gots a new IdeaPlan:
i'll pretend i'm HappyNormal,
and then Respectably Normal People will like me,
so then i can manipulate them to do what The Voices want!!
i haven't figgered out how to go about this of course,
cuz even tho i can look calm and Normal,
i still need to know how to act Normal.
Soooooooo, i gots a new Hobby:
People Watching!!!
This is a very exciting activity.
You watch Normal People,
then when you know enuf,
you can pretend to be one!
I'ma report back on my endeavors;
I can't wait to get started!!
-atomicobra
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sevwenteen: oh! i'm not dead
yepp!!
if anyone actually reads this post
besides me
and the squirrel-faces and leprecons
then i's just wants to say i'm soorrrrryyy
i haven't posted in forever EVEN tho i'm not Dead.
So if you were wondering if i was Dead,
and that was the reason i wasn't talking,
then i'm sorry to disappoint.
I just...get discouraged when noone but the Voices respond,
and they respond even if i don't write this.
But i watched Hellboy II, and had an Epiphany:
it doesn't matter what everyone thinks of me;
i should just do what i do anyway.
So i'ma try to post fairly regularly again,
even if it is just a Short Post.
...I know The Leprecon doesn't really like you,
but that doesn't mean i can't talk to you.
oh yeah...by the way, The Pumpkin Head does like you.
:)
That should make you HappyHappy.
OK well...The Monkey sez it's Bye Time,
cuz i don't have anything else worth sayin.
so BYE!!!
-atomicobra
if anyone actually reads this post
besides me
and the squirrel-faces and leprecons
then i's just wants to say i'm soorrrrryyy
i haven't posted in forever EVEN tho i'm not Dead.
So if you were wondering if i was Dead,
and that was the reason i wasn't talking,
then i'm sorry to disappoint.
I just...get discouraged when noone but the Voices respond,
and they respond even if i don't write this.
But i watched Hellboy II, and had an Epiphany:
it doesn't matter what everyone thinks of me;
i should just do what i do anyway.
So i'ma try to post fairly regularly again,
even if it is just a Short Post.
...I know The Leprecon doesn't really like you,
but that doesn't mean i can't talk to you.
oh yeah...by the way, The Pumpkin Head does like you.
:)
That should make you HappyHappy.
OK well...The Monkey sez it's Bye Time,
cuz i don't have anything else worth sayin.
so BYE!!!
-atomicobra
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