34: Nothingness & Pirates

soooooo it's time to say a whole lotta nothing

which is more than i can say for some others

that just say a little of nothing.

but i'm just saying like, ALL of the nothing.

nothing, nothing, nothing annnnd nothing.

i'm pretty sure that's all of em.

well, i'm out of nothings to say.

fin.

So i was Pretending to be a HappyNormal People,

and so i was in the WallyPlace,

so i looked just like i fit in.

and i saw a movie about Jason Statham

"in familiar turf."

luuulz

you mean his only turf right??

Yeah, all his character are the same person.

but that's not like me.

i'm like one person that several persons

and he's like several persons that's one person

or

he's one person, that's several persons that's the same person.

something like that.

oh em gee!!! i think just i won something.

but i dint get any movies,

BcuzBcuz like i looked at them

and they said they were rated

by the MPAA.

and i'm PrettyPretty sure

that they dont like Pirates--

and today was a Dress Like a Pirate Day.

and you know why Pirates wear eye patches?

wellll, i don't really know, why?

it's BcuzBcuz so they see in the dark

whenever they loot under like the boat's floor.

in the boat's basement or something.

the whine cellar. that thing.

where the Pirates get all their vodkas.

Do you know what Pirates do with the vodkas?

i know they don't drink them mainly

mainly why is they just drink the rums

that they get in the whine cellers in the boats too.

but i don't know about any whines being in there.

i guess the people the Pirates be robbing...

or looting...or pirating...

well the people in the boats

(that aren't the Pirate boats)

they use up all the whining

when they BooHoo about the Pirates

that be taking all of their stuffs.

but thennnn...they cry too.

and then they let the Pirates take their stuffs

unless they wanting to be hurted

but i don't know why they would be wanting that.

BcuzBcuz being hurted isn't very fun.

but neither is losing all your rums...

so i guess that's why

they would be hurted

when they try to stop the Pirates

from getting all of the rums

So in conclusion:

The MPAAs must really like rums.

BcuzBcuz i know they don't want the Pirates to be winning

But if they would just only give up the rums,

then no-one would be getting hurted.

-atomicobra

33: RanDumb_Le

ohhhhh...

check this out chicka checka chick this out:

i'm like so exCITED!!!

because, because um...

i don't know.

I FORGOT MY NAAAAME!!!1111111111111

so, like, i'm totally psyched,

'cause i got a new idea

ima get some...

chemicals

aaaaaa-gain.

and try to bleach my hair

but it makes my scalp itch

and i think i got brain-damaged

but it doesn't really even matter

'cause i don't think there's anything there anyway

because because because because you see

i
   '
         m

pretty sure i already checked

sometime in the past...

or the future

...i can't surely be sure for sure

but e-nough about me,

how 'bout you introduce yo-self's Self.

oh, OK, thanks for axing.

hi! i'm like sooo me.

totally.

Well, hi Me nice to meet you!

:) :) :) :)

:'-(

ohhh nooooo!!!!!

Hide Hide Hide Hide Escapation Time!!!!11

The Men in The White Coats are coming

for Happy Time!!!!

and i forgot to take the Happy Time Vaccine

that i invented.

:-O

    ohhhhh
       nooooooooooooo
!
             !

                                    !

-atomicobra

32: Dirty Food

So i woke up today

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And my heart was going

"pitter patter dinner platter"

just excited to be awake

and ready to eat right away.

so i got some fooods on my plate

like i think i ate a pizza and grapes

and a banana, mandarin oranges, and a STEAK!!!

it was yummy yummy in my tummy.

tummy.

but man it wasn't planned, i had to forage then say "YAY"

when i found gummys, honey and what's funny--

i think i even ate a moneys.

It had a face like my hero Benjamin -->

Franklin, and i was like, "O it's him!!!

"he was a magical, electrical, electable genius!!

"If i eat his picture, i'll get his powers and talents."

It's factual: i actually got a transference.

It's nice, i feel it inside my insides;

it's here: somewhere near my stomach's region.

Me has some matching intellecting of practicably anything!!

But there's sickness instead in my guts;

i'm chilled and flushed, and upset my intestine isn't lenient.

i should've had a milked-down thin porridge and not paid

for my fine skills like rhyming "orange" five times

with a diagnosis that is this: the worsest, it sucks!

What's horrid's i'm unhinged at this not-having-lucks.

i've had enough; i'm sad and crushed with acid reflux.

...i'm hungry, it's time to find what cooks!!!

-atomicobra

Thirty-1: My Old Fiend

hi.

as always The Leprechaun hates you.

He sends you his worst regards

for the holidae season

we gon burn down some trees!!!

this is gotta be fun!

We're so excited for Tree Burning Season

that is based on our winter equinox.

I DON'T (oops no ALL CAPS,

'cause it's ANNOYING ME)

I don't care (that's more better)

if it's called a solstice!!!

so I listened to Simon and Garfunky like,

over fifty times today.

annnnd here we go again!!

It's Happy Time.

Get out your lighters and wave em back and 4th

Oh SNAP the curtains caught on fire!!!

I didn't even know we had curtains

up in here.

wow, that's PrettyPretty.

Anyway,

MyMusic stopped!!!!!

repairated.

So I was looking at my fingeries

to figger out if i'm a man or women.

longer pointer fingers are from estrogen,

and longer ring fingers are from testosterone.

but if they the same you're gay.

well...

I'm a women all right,

but at least i'm not gay!

um...

maybe i could...

I'll just burn my fingeries

with that curtain-fire

then i won't be a women

or a man or gay or ANYTHING

(oh i hate you sooo much for using CAPS!!!!!!)

ooooh prettypretty fire on the fingeries and

uh ksdy bloard

keyboadrd

lloh

i

can;t

thype

wkith

nlo

finge

-atomicobra

Thutty: Nutty Peanut Butter Butter

Sooooo i got this...

"Chunky Peanut Butter"

annnd i tryed to take the peanuts out

soo i just only had the butter

from the peanut butter

and,

it tasted nutty still.

Peanut Butter butter is nutty.

Annnnd so are Peanut Butter peanuts.

now i just only kinda really need to figger out

HOW to get the chunky out.

-atomicobra

29: The Learnedge in All in Sane

So i figgered out what kind

of educational campus institution

i live in.

So i done seen a sign out front,

one of those times i was sneaked out,

and it said,

"Institution for the Criminally Insane,"

so then i was beginning spelling

so then i was beginning to wonder

what criminally meaned,

but at least i knows where i am now,

i'm in Sane.

Sane seams like a weird name for a place,

no wonder i don't like it too well here.

but, so like,

HIII!!!!!

so, crim...in...all...y

i'm pretty sure y is spanish for "and."

Crim in all, and in sane.

hmmm,

now i just gotta figger out what Crim is.

It must mean learnedge,

so the Institution is for:

the learnedge in those of us in Sane.

that's what this place is all about i guess.

I kinda think i actually learn more

when i leave Sane.

because, if i never left Sane,

I wouldn't know what HappyNormal people act like

and that's verrry inportant stuffs

cuz all kinds of fun stuff can happen

if They think i'm a HappyNormal People too,

like, i even got some free food from someone!!

Just like as i was a puppypuppy.

Puppypuppys get free food,

just by being there.

They don't even gotta do ennything.

But if HappyNormal People think

that i'm a HappyNormal people too,

they don't run away

or look at me like there's a tapeworm in they head.

Tapeworms are funny,

they don't listen to The Monkey

like the other voices do.

So that's why i don't have a tapeworm.

So, whilst conversing about The Monkey,

i'll mention something

i remember once being axed,

"Where'd your moonkey [The Monkey] come from?"

and i never could really figger out what to say,

cuz The Monkey has for all i can tell

like,

always been around.

So maybe The Monkey is from like a carlot,

because all the tires there are around,

and i kinda think there are lotsa tires at carlots,

and since tires are around,

and The Monkey has always been around,

maybe that's where The Monkey came from.

But The Monkey sez i'm done

with this blog,

and for me to go get another doggy treat.

Puppypuppys got it made.

-atomicobra

Twenty-Ate: You Cannot Ignore Yourself

Okay.

So...okay.

I guess that's good advice.

Or, maybe it's not advice,

maybe it's a statement.
You...

cannot...

ignore...

yourself!!

OK.

"What do you think you're doing!?

(look! I spelled "you're" rightly!!

(not in the possessive way others would

(retards)

"...trying to ignore yourself??

"How many times do i have to tell you?

"You're NOT allowed to ignore yourself!!"

*slappety on the wrist!*

When your Self tells you something

you should listen.

My Self told me to make a blog.

Actually, The Monkey did.

But my Self tells me i should

obey The Monkey.

So, what The Monkey says

is prett

[hey, i wanna talk about something else now]

(Okay, you can talk about something else)

[Hey look!!

[I'm outside!!

[I wonder what I'm doing over there...

[oh well, I'm too busy doing this blog

[to go over there

[to see what I'm doing

How many things

are YOU doing right now??

Oh, i think maybe seven,

thanks for axing.

Do you pronounce "especially"
like, "eXpessally??"

[on the other side of that window.]

Whoa!!

Where'd "on the other side of the window"

just come from??!!!!!

oh yeah.

I seen my Self

outside out that window.

So...

my Self says i'm done

because The Monkey told my Self i'm done.

So, i guess i'm

goodbye!!!

-atomicobra